Why I hate going to Family Get-Togethers ..
First up .. u need to give pepl that lasting smile whether u feel like it or not – im talking about pepl who u dont even know, but who know U somehow !
U must be really gud at feigning interest when some old pepl go “Way back in 1940..”[!]
‘uh..like i cared !
Then there is granny trouble.
The word ‘rowdy granny’ – doesn’t it sound like an oxymoron. I ll tell u it is not !
When 4 or 5 of them get together they can rag u better than any college senior !
Though this entry is wat i can recall about one of my funny meetings with a granny.
There was an invitation for some occasion.
Somehow the inviter had come to know i was in the middle of my holidays. So my attendance was made compulsory !
My parents stuck by me until we reached the venue after which god knows where they disappeared.
None of my cousins had arrived [It wasn't time for breakfast binge yet ! ] !
I had probably come too early.
I was waiting fr them to show up when one granny came upto me with a smile and said-
“Hellow! Remember me ?!”
“U haven’t changed in 5 yrs !”
Thats how every granny i know, begins .. hmm maybe she knows me.
I had no idea who she was … but i played along [Big mistake !]
Me : U seem familiar, but i dont seem to remember u… [feigning it of course !]
Granny: U hav forgotten me bcos u dont turn up fr any get together nor do u come visiting !
Thats the way it started … The rest of the conversation was one sided.
With me nodding to whatever she had to say. None of which i could comprehend , but for some bits about her
whirlwind pilgrimages & frequent visits to her doctor !
Half an hour had passed when ….

Granny: Sow ! How is Harish !
Me : .. er ..Harish .. that name sounds so familiar but i dont seem to remember[feigning it again !]
Granny: !! Ada pavi.Forgotten ur own brother ?! Now stop kidding !

This had to end somewhere !

Granny: Aren’t you kumar ?!
Me : #@%$*! ….. NO !!
Granny [now grinning!] : er…he he … U look just like kumar !
Right then, i was boiling !
Me: Fine ! Now get lost !

[juz kidding ]
Now how could anyone say that to a poor,old,cute lukin granny ! Suppressing my embarrassment I say…
Me: Oh ! Anyway it was nice meeting u …[with the most inane of smiles ]

Later on the same day ,i was introduced to kumar by …guess who ?
Who else but the granny.
And – he was the last thing i resembled.
Ms.Granny had her reasons.
She was old,she was bored- & by the way-i WAS bored too. But im thankful for a few things.
She just took half-an-hour to figure out that i was somebody else.
My cousins weren’t around and i escaped from some serious roasting[phew]!
After this incident ,just the name ‘granny’ sparks terror in me !

Cheers,
Manny